what i mean when i say i'm a writer.

i said that i'm a writer, an aspiring one at that, and offered to write some words if that's what she wanted. she looked at me hard for a minute, reached into her pocket and pulled out a dollar. she said that she'd pay me five cents a word, so they'd better be worth it. and maybe if they were good enough, she'd see what else was in her pockets. i looked at her for a second and told her i'd probably be able to come up with something. after some thinking, all i could come up with was three words. she asked for her change, and while smoking my cigarette, i muttered under my breath that some words are worth more than others - there's no change left. i wrote "fuck this shit" on my 7-11 receipt and walked away.

i guess i'm not a paid-by-the-word type of writer. at least, i'm hoping i'm not.

sometimes, someone will look at my work and comment that it's great. they loved it. except for this one thing, you know, just change this one thing, and then it'd be perfect. then it'd be what they've been wanting to read and wishing someone has written. i've wasted too much time trying to make what i write what someone wants to read. what i write is who i am. if there's something that someone's wishing they could read, they should write it their own damn selves.