unexpected things.

yeah, so you've noticed my bad mood as of late, and i just want to let you know, hey, it's really not that bad, and sometimes, my hormones kick me off on a helluva ride, and i'm just lookin for fights all over and sometimes the fights just come to me whether i'm lookin for them or not, but i sure as hell always notice. but here is the truth of today: i woke up this morning, bleary-eyed from staying up too late working on a memo with the prospect of finishing up before having to be on campus this morning, and there were emails from two beautiful women i know, both flattering and perhaps more than the self i've been lately has felt like she's deserved. but what a way to start the day.

my work study job has turned out to be not only low-stress, but also just really great because the two women i work for are pretty great. it's taken me awhile to get used to the both of them - one a hyperactive nervous friendly sort, the other a quiet monotonal awkward sort - but we've all gotten used to each other a little bit more now and i don't jump the way i first used to when the hyperactive one says hi and the quiet one flashed me a big smile on my way out this morning and told me to have a good weekend. i think i will.

my day was rounded out by unexpected going out to eat with the woman i don't spend nearly enough time with these days, and i was reminded of my life as something other than that which is contained at union station. and we bought cakelove cupcakes, and right at the last minute, they brought out lime with chocolate, which is my all-time favorite kind. all-time.

and we got home and crashed on the bed for an unexpected, but much needed nap, and i am feeling refreshed for the first time in days. the writer is still asleep on the bed, and in this quiet space of her gentle breathing and the noise of the keys on my beautiful laptop, i am reminded of a conversation i had with my father not too long ago where he commented on how the things in my life seem to move in such positive directions. because even with all the extraneous crap that makes me grumpy more often than not, that makes me so busy and tired that i've neglected all of you for so long (yes, i will call you back soon), that makes me live a pretty solitary life these days, even though i'm not sure that it's really more solitary than before, but still.

i have a joke with a law school buddy about how i don't really know the meaning of exuberance since i'm not sure i've experienced it before. but here's what i do experience and would experience more if i just remembered to think about it: the quiet confidence of a woman who knows reciprical love and respect from other women. there's no word for that really, but i do know know what that is. and the unexpectedness of experiencing it with women i haven't talked to in a long time, women i've just met, and the woman i love meeting over and over again, gives me a lighter heart.